Bloopers
by LaDyViL
Summary: The TV series BBC Sherlock runs for 2 seasons with 3 episodes each. It was amazing! Brilliant! But what about the scenes they didn't show us? Warnings in Chapter 1.
1. Warnings & Disclaimers

**Disclaimer**: All the recognizable settings, character, stories and scripts in this fanfiction are not mine. The original Sherlock Holmes is the work of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle while the BBC adaptation of it is the work of Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss. No, I don't own any of it.

**Summary**: The TV series BBC Sherlock runs for 2 seasons with 3 episodes each. It was amazing! Brilliant! But what about the scenes they didn't show us?

**Warnings**: This will be multi-chaptered but they can be read separately. This whole story will be one great big spoiler for season 1 and season 2. I can't guarantee no slash for future chapters but the warnings will be shown here, so proceed with caution. OOC-ness may ensue and for that I apologize. English is not my native language, so there will be mistakes and grammatical nightmares. Moreover, this is not Brit-picked, so again I apologize if that offends you.

**Notes**: Replies to Anonymous guests will be mentioned here ^_^

* * *

**Chapter 1: Disclaimers + Warnings**

**Chapter 2: Season 01 Episode 01 – A Study in Pink 1**

**Chapter 3: Season 01 Episode 01 – A Study in Pink 2**

**Chapter 4: Season 01 Episode 01 – A Study in Pink 3**

(Sorry there's just 2 parts, but here comes John & Sherlock ^_^)

**Chapter 5: Season 01 Episode 01 – A Study in Pink 4**

(I'm not an expert in detailed and precise deductions like Sherlock, I'm just a total amateur, forgive me for any atrocities I have caused especially in Sherlock's dialogues)

Ozcinefile: Thank you for reading ;)

**Chapter 6: Interlude**

(This is a slashy one. No, it's not slash. Just a great big fluff moment with Vulnerable!John and Protective!Sherlock. There's some Emo!John in it, and while I love my Johns to be BAMF!John, I do think he has some vulnerable sides where he shows no one and no one but Sherlock. You can read this as a very friendly brotherly friendship or a fluffy Johnlock. There will be much grammatical nightmares too. I blame Doctor Who Season 07 Episode 05. Please skip this one if it's not up your street. We'll be back with more on-scene bloopers after this one ^_^)

**Chapter 7: Season 01 Episode 01 – A Study in Pink 5**

(Just a strong dose of friendship. A bit of Flustered!Sherlock, and a massive amount of barely-hidden fluff)

Guest: Me too, dear. It wrecked my whole being. I so wish I had a Sherlock to hold me during the whole episode. I'm not one to let anyone see my tears so I shall ride the oncoming waves alone. Or at the very least, I haven't found the right Sherlock for my John, yet. One day, one day... :'D

**Chapter 8: Season 01 Episode 01 – A Study in Pink 6**

(It has been awhile, hasn't it? I'm so sorry. Had a good reason for this. I developed a fear of MS Word for a while. Everytime I open the application, all I could see is the tons of reports I need to do. Anyway, I have this one up for you. I did make some assumptions, though. For one, I hope that skull is a 'He'. If anyone notice, I used Mrs. Hudson with 'Mrs'. It just doesn't feel like it's her if I just put 'Hudson' there. And some warnings! People assuming slash and maybe if you let your imaginations run wild...hints of pre-slash. What? It just jumped in there, I didn't put it there. It was supposed to end 2 lines up. This is Sherlock AND John. I have no control over their conversations :P)

* * *

Feel free to review/fav/alert this story. Comments and critiques are welcomed, flames are ignored.

**LaDyViL** ;)


	2. A Study in Pink 1

Ella: How's your blog going?

John: Yeah, good, very good.

Ella: You haven't written a word, have you?

John: You just wrote "still has trust issues".

Ella: And you read my writing upside down.

John: No, that *points towards papers* is upside down.

Ella: *stares down in shock* Oh.

Director: CUT!

* * *

Ella: You see what I mean?

John: …

Ella: John, you're a soldier.

Sherlock: Army doctor!

Director: CUT! Sherlock, it's not your turn yet!

* * *

Reporter: These three people, there's nothing that links them?

Lestrade: There's no link we've found yet but, we're looking for it. There has to be one.

Mobiles: *beeps* "rong!"

Crowd: *chatters*

Sally: *hesitant* If you've all...

Mobiles: *beeps* "*Wrong!"

Crowd: *silence*

Director: CUT!

Mobiles: *beeps* "I burnt my hand, all right!"


	3. A Study in Pink 2

Mobile: "You know where to find me. SH"

Lestrade: *looks away, pockets the mobile* Thank you.

-Outside the conference room-

Lestrade: *staggers, slumps on wall*

Sally: *alarmed* Sir!

Director: CUT!

Lestrade: I'm fine, I'm fine. Just…nerves. *looks at Director* Please don't give me scenes with reporters again.

Director: *smirks*

* * *

-Outside the conference room-

Sally: You've got to stop him doing that. He's making us look like idiots.

Sherlock: *rolls eyes* Why would I waste my time for something so obvious?

Director: CUT!

* * *

Mike: What about you, just staying in town 'till you get yourself sorted?

John: Urgh... I can't afford London on an Army pension.

Mike: And you couldn't bear to be anywhere else. That's not the John Watson I know.

John: Yeah, I'm not the John Watson… *looks upset, fists left hand*

Mike: Couldn't Mary help?

Director: CUT!

Mike: What did I do?

John: *chuckles* Her name's Harry.


	4. A Study in Pink 3

Sherlock: How fresh?

Molly: Just in. 67, natural causes. Used to work here. I knew him, he was nice.

Sherlock: Cut!

Director: What? No! Sherlock, I'm the Director here, not you!

Sherlock: *throws hands up the air* What's it like to be such idiots?!

Director: Wha…

Sherlock: That body is 65 years old, and it's glaringly obvious the cause of death is poison. Look at the cheeks!

Director: Fine, get another body. *signals for staffs to take the body away*

Sherlock: And for God's sake get the gender right this time.

Director: What?

Sherlock: *zips body bag until the feet* That, is a female genitalia.

* * *

Molly: Used to work here. I knew him, he was nice.

Sherlock: *zips body bag* Fine. We'll start with the riding crop. *smile*

-next scene-

Director: ACTION!

Sherlock: *stares at riding crop in hand*

-after 10 seconds-

Director: CUT! What now?!

Sherlock: *throws riding crop in the air, smooths the surface of the riding crop, examines the handle, tests the elasticity of the riding crop, toss the riding crop across the room in frustration*

Crowd: *shock*

Sherlock: *glares at Director* When I said riding crop, I meant **MY** riding crop. I! NEED! MY! RIDING CROP!

Director: *shock silence, mouth gaping*

Sherlock: NOW!

John: *walks onto set* Here. *hands a riding crop, let out a frustrated sigh* How many times do I have to tell you not to leave it lying around the flat? People already got enough ideas about us.

Sherlock: *satisfied* Thank you, John. *faces John and smiles tenderly* What would I ever do without you?

John: Don't you start! *walks out of set grumbling*


	5. A Study in Pink 4

Door: "Knock knock!"

Sherlock: *looks up*

John: *looks around* Bit different from my day.

Mike: You have no idea.

Sherlock: *stares at John* Who's Mary?

Director: CUT! SHERLOCK!

John: *exasperated/fond smile* Spoilers.

Sherlock: *narrows eyes at John, scowling* Guard your Doctor Who collections. There might be some accidents around them these days.

John: *stiffens, serious stance* Don't you dare! They're sacred! *runs out the door*

Sherlock: *runs out the door*

Director: *throws face in hands*TAKE FIVE!

* * *

Sherlock: Mike, can I borrow your phone? There's no signal on mine.

John: *chocked chuckle*

Director: CUT! *annoyed sigh* John…!

John: *cough a few times, corner of mouth kept twitching* Sorry, it's just…it's his phone. No signal, bah! He'd get signal even in a cave.

Sherlock: *smirk* Had you knew me as you know me now you'd have realized that.

John: Now that you mention it, why did you ask for his phone?

Sherlock: *turns to face John* Didn't bother to check who was inside by the way he knocked, so it wasn't a colleague from work, won't do him any good if I'm found here. People talk all the time and he'd be in trouble if the higher-ups knew I'm using the labs without the proper credentials which should be acquired through him. He brought a man with past military background in my vicinity, not a hired thug judging from your attire and your limp. The limp might be a ruse to have me lower my guard. A professional. No thugs would bother with such precisions in their acts. You were observing the surroundings, probably calculating how best to make do with me but you didn't linger at a corner too long to consider how best to off me. The distance you let him put between you two signals trust and not anxiety. Borrowing his phone would be the fastest way to out you. I needed to check his last contacts in the case that he'd been threatened to approach me or was hiring someone to hurt me. If you were hired to harm me, you would have stopped him from giving me his phone but he forgot it in his coat. He wasn't being threatened. You took off your eyes from him and lingered on me signaling you weren't taking orders from him. So he wasn't a client, taking him off the list of people who want me dead. And then you let me borrow your phone. If I refuse, you'd be suspicious so I had to calculate and visualize all the scenarios that might happen in case you were a hitman. It was a calculated risk. When it went off without a hitch and you weren't trying to choke the life out of me even after I turned my back to you, I conclude that you were just a long-time friend, used to study here with him, visiting after you were discharged from the army.

Crowd: *silence*

John: *shakes head, smiling* Brilliant.

Sherlock: *trying to stop himself from smiling, but failing*

Director: *shakes himself from his shocked stupor* Err…okay. If you're done flirting, let's start from the top. Get in position, people!

* * *

Sherlock: Mike, can I borrow your phone? There's no signal on mine.

Mike: And what's wrong with the landline?

Sherlock: I prefer to text.

Mike: Sorry, it's in my coat.

Sherlock: No, it's not. It's in your left pocket judging by the creases of your trousers.

Director: CUT!


	6. Interlude

Director: Where's our 2 MC? We're starting in 10!

Staff 1: No one have seen them today yet, sir.

Staff 2: *whispers to the girl next to her* Must be Holmes again. He kept dragging the poor guy to God knows where for trivial reasons.

Staff 3: *whispers back* Remember last week, he took Watson off to China in a night. Just whisked him away while he slept they said.

Director: *sigh* Anyone got through to them?

Assistant Director: *waves his phone* None, sir. No reply to the texts and all the calls got the voice mail. *turns to the supplies*

Director: *drops into his chair, massages his temples* Someone please get me some aspirin.

Staff 1: Right awa…

Assistant Director: *return with aspirin and water* Here you go, sir. *pass items on hand* What do you suggest we do now, sir? Proceed with the other scenes?

Director: *gulps water, put down glass, got a distant look in his eyes* No. No, no... We're going to give them a surprise. *calculating smile on face*

Assistant Director: *confused* Sir?

* * *

-221B Baker Street-

Staff 1: *jogs to the front door* Neighbors saw them going in, no one seen them going out yet.

Director: Shh…lower your voice. We don't want Sherlock to hear us. I want you, you and you with me when we open the door. Remember what I told you to say?

Staff 1, 2, 3: Merry Christmas!

Director: *smirk* Good, and then?

Staff 1, 2, 3: Make ourselves at home.

Director: Good. And?

Staff 1,2, 3: Stay away from the kitchen especially the fridge.

Director: All right, we're ready. Cameras? Mikes?*gestures closer* Move in with us.

Crowd: *creeps until the front door of 221B*

-insert whimpering sound-

Crowd: *exchanges confused looks*

Director: *opens the door*

* * *

John: *sniff* Why…? *burrows deeper into Sherlock's chest*

Sherlock: *pulls closer, circles both arms around John* They can't keep things constant. They need to keep things fresh.

John: *looks up into Sherlock's eyes with glassy, puffy red eyes* But couldn't they just keep them for another season? Look at Rose!

Sherlock: *raises one eyebrow* Remember where that got her?

John: *whimpers* But…but they…

Door: *open silently*

Crowd: *shocked*

Sherlock: *looked up nonchalantly, as if he had been waiting for them all this time, moves a finger over his lips while pulling John into his chest with one hand, eyes still on the crowd* Shh…

John: *sniff* I want them to stay together.

Sherlock: They need to change the companions. *rub soothing circles with left hand while right hand rubs the neck* It's a trademark of the series.

John: I know but couldn't they just leave them somewhere, and have the Doctor visits them from time to time. They just! *thump Sherlock's chest* _Make_! *thump* _Them_! *thump* _Leave_! *thump* _Him_! *thump* _Just_! *thump* _Like_! *thump* _That_! *thump* It's not fair!

Sherlock: *coughing but trying to stifle them* Hmm, yeah. Ehm, It's… Ehm! Not fair, John. *narrows eyes at the crowd, reaches phone* Who said anything about fair? You of all people should know how unfair life is.

John: *sniffs* You okay? Your voice sounds a bit rough.

Sherlock: Hm? *cough* I'm fine. Just trying to catch some breath.

John: …Am I holding you too tight? *pulls away*

Sherlock: *glances towards the crowd still gawking at the door, pulls John back towards his chest so that John's back is still facing the door* No. It's just fine. Nothing I can't handle.

John: *frown up at Sherlock face* But…

Sherlock: *pulls John's head so that it's buried around the crook of his neck and out of view of the crowd, secretly use the other hand to type a message* Shh… Now is the time for you to let yourself rant all about Doctor Who and everything unfair about it. If I don't let you do this tonight, you'll be insufferable for the rest of the week. No. Judging by the degree this episode has affected you, probably until Christmas.

John: *smiles into Sherlock's neck* Sentiment?

Sherlock: *fond smile* Sentiment. *send the message, glares at the Director*

Director: *shocked as his pocket vibrates, check phone, open new text*

Mobile: "We're taking today and tomorrow off. If you're not leaving our flat in 15 minutes, I'll be forced to contact the authorities. -SH"

John: *still lying across Sherlock on the couch, head still buried in Sherlock's neck* Sherlock?

Sherlock: *eyes still glaring at the crowd* Yes?

John: Thank you. For being here. With me. When I'm all wrecked with sentiments. *sniffs* I know how much you're annoyed by them. Sentiments, I mean.

Sherlock: Nonsense. *rubs John's neck with one hand* You let your attention, your guard, all your senses down when this happens. Who else are you going to let them see you like this?

John: *smile* No one but you. *nuzzle closer* The best best best _bestest_ friend one could ever have.

Sherlock: *buries nose into John's hair, eyes still glaring at the crowd.* Precisely. We need to work out on your vocabulary.

John: *giggles between sniffs*

Sherlock: *whispers into John's ear* Listen, and listen very carefully. *eyes narrowing at the crowd* If anyone but me ever saw you like this, I can always make them disappear. Just like Moriarty's companions, which has *narrows eyes at the crowd* _nothing_ to do with me.

Crowd: *gulp*

Sherlock: *nuzzles John's hair* So, don't worry. Just let everything out. No one's going to see you like this, but me. I've got your back, your front, and _everything_ of you.

John: *sniffs* Thank you.

Director: *shocked as mobile vibrates again*

Mobile: "I suggest you leave now before I am forced to erase you and your crew's existence. –M"

Director: *gulped as a new message arrives*

Mobile: "OUT! -SH"

Crowd: *slowly back away from the door, closes the door silently*

John: *startled, turns around* I thought I felt some presence over there… *sniffs*

Sherlock: Shh… *pulls John back into his neck*

* * *

-near the production trailer-

Staff 1: …What now?

Director: We were never here. We saw nothing, we heard nothing. We were at the set the whole time waiting for John and Sherlock to arrive which they never did.

Crowd: *nod*

Director: Good. *turns toward the camera crew* Destroy all the recordings.

Camera Crew: *eager nods*

Director: Move out, men.


	7. A Study in Pink 5

Sherlock: Which was it? *turns head facing John* Afghanistan or Iraq? *resume texting*

John: *gaping a bit, looks at Mike*

Mike: *smile knowingly, looks at door*

Molly: *pull door*

John: Afghanistan, sorry…

Director: CUT!

Sherlock: *looks at the door, exasperated* Push! Not pull!

Molly: *cease struggling with the door, looks embarrassed* Oh.

* * *

Sherlock: I play the violin when I'm thinking and sometimes I don't talk for days on end. *turns to John* Would that bother you? Potential flatmates should know the worst about each other. *forced big smile*

John: PFFTT! *bend over behind table, clutches abdomen*

Director: CUT! *rushes over to John* John! Is something wrong?

John: *wipe tears from eyes* No, no. Sorry, I just… *guffawed with laughter, cough, looks at Sherlock*

Sherlock: *raises an eyebrow, scowling*

John: Did you ever look at yourself when you pretend to smile? Oh god, that was so hilarious. *double over on the floor*

Sherlock: Smiling is one of the many gestures that let a stranger lowers their guard around you and this has been proven many times in my many experiments using various people in different situations. This is merely an application of that observation.

John: Yes. *heavy breathing* Yes, you are right, as always but did you ever check how you looked? *inhale deep breath, slowly exhale* You looked like you just ate the sourest fruit in the universe and had to convince others of how sweet it is. *reminisce, bend down over the table roaring with laughter*

Sherlock: *rolls eyes* You are exaggerating the situation, John. And we will start working on your vocabulary as soon as possible.

Crowd: *stares in silence*

John: *wipes tears in eyes, looks up at a corner with a CCTV camera pointing straight at the set* I want a copy of his face. I need a new background for my phone. *continue roaring with laughter*

Director: *sigh, walk off the set* Take five, people.

* * *

-in a cab in the way to 221B Baker Street-

Sherlock: *glares out the window, scowling*

John: *staring at mobile, talking while not taking eyes off the screen, fond smile on face* Oh come on, Sherlock. You're still sulking?

Sherlock: *whips head to John, narrows eyes* I don't sulk. I'm merely trying to deduce what you found so funny. Stop staring at your screen! *whips head to face outside, glares out the window, scowling*

John: *inhale, exhale, spare one last glance at screen, pockets the phone, looks at the back of Sherlock's head, serious face* I find you, trying so hard to force yourself to smile at strangers funny. It's so funny that you're forcing yourself to please someone when it's so obvious they can see the whole farce in just one glance. Instead of making them lower their guard around you, it has the opposite effect making them suspicious of your intentions.

Sherlock: *shoulders hunched*

John: *shakes head* For someone so brilliant, you could be so stupid sometime. *looks out the window on his side of the cab*

Sherlock: *tenses*

John: *distant look, fond smile* I've seen your smiles, Sherlock. Your _real_ smiles. If you take a second to consider it, you'll realize that they are nothing less than amazing.

Sherlock: *sharp intake of breath, eyes wide, glances at John from the corner of his eyes, looks back outside the window, smile* John.

John: Hmm?

Sherlock: When we're home, get me the best photographs of cakes and cookies you can find.

John: *turns to Sherlock, looks confused* Hungry?

Sherlock: No. *calculating smirk* I need to send those tasty pictures to the government.


	8. A Study in Pink 6

John: *walks along the sidewalk towards 221 Baker Street, stops in front of the door* ….*turns around, looking lost* …. *leans on cane*

Director: CUT!

John: *sigh*

Director: WHERE'S THAT *censor beep* CAB!

* * *

John: That's a skull.

Sherlock: Friend of mine. When I say friend...

John: Who was it?

Sherlock: He was…! *looks thoughtful*

Director: CUT!

John: Sherlock?

Sherlock: Hmm? Yes?

John: You were saying? Who was he?

Sherlock: *slowly smirking* Wouldn't you like to know.

John: *rolls eyes* The thing has been living with us this whole time. The least you could do is introduce us. Properly.

Sherlock: *grin* Spoilers! *turns around, walks to the kitchen*

John: *eyes wide* You don't even like the show! *follows Sherlock into the kitchen*

* * *

Mrs. Hudson: What do you think then, Dr. Watson? There's another bedroom upstairs *gestures upwards*, if you'll be needing two bedrooms.

John: Of course we'll be needing two.

Mrs. Hudson: Oh don't worry… *trails off* Do you still need the other bedroom?

Director: CUT!

John: Of course we'll be needing two. Why would…

Mrs. Hudson: Oh, come on now, dear. How many years has it been? Mrs. Turner's already got 2 children. Adopted, of course but oh they're so adorable. 221C is still open if you need a room for the kids. I think I got some brochures on those adoptions. *walks out of the room*

Crowd: *cough, snickers, giggles*

John: *jaw hanging, shakes himself a bit, glares at Sherlock* Couldn't you have at least straighten her! She's still thinking we're a couple!

Sherlock: *glance towards John* Of course we are. *turns back to look outside*

John: *shocked gasp* What?

Sherlock: *rolls eyes* Don't be dull, John. The whole of Scotland Yard is still betting when we're announcing the news. Mycroft's been preparing for a wedding the day after The Pool. Even The Woman said it, we're a couple.

John: In a totally non-romantical way! How much can one obvious fact be twisted! *drops into chair, face in hands, low-depressing groan* I'm doomed for bachelorhood!

Sherlock: It's not so bad. *turns to look at John, grinning* We could retire together and keep bees.

John: *groan*

-silence for a minute-

John: *jerks head up at Sherlock with a look of realization and eyes wide* Did you just proposed?


End file.
